I’ll be home for the holidays…

What do the holidays really look like this year?

What is often considered a joyous time of connecting, sharing food, and travel will be different for most of us this year. We might have experienced the loss of a loved one and this will be the first holiday without them. We might be staying at home by ourselves or with our immediate family in order to keep ourselves and others safe. We might be contemplating the decision of whether to stay or go and feel guilt on both sides of that decision. 

How can we buffer the sadness and disappointment we may feel in the coming weeks? 

First, allow yourself to feel. Be honest with where you're at and try to communicate your thoughts and feelings with those closest to you. As awesome as it would be in times like these, no one can read our minds. Ask for what you need and set appropriate boundaries.  

A few years ago my parents divorced. It was hard to imagine what the holidays might look like without our family unit fully intact. The way things always were was no longer… My sister shared she always thought it would be fun to run in the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. She and I decided to make that happen -- we put on our turkey shirts and hit the pavement bright and early Thanksgiving morning. It was great to start the day outdoors, get our heart pumping and endorphins going, and do something different together. 

Different does not have to = bad.  

We can experience a lot of suffering because we are waiting for things to change or go back to “normal”. But what if we cannot go back to normal? It is important, for our mental and emotional health, to reach some level of acceptance of what is. To be present-oriented.  

Once we accept the craziness that is 2020, we can take the next step. 

Being prepared can greatly reduce anxiety for the holidays. Start planning and coping now rather than making frantic decisions in the days leading up to the holidays. Maybe that is recreating the best parts of your holiday ritual in your own home. Maybe that is creating a new tradition. 

What is most important about your holiday ritual(s)? 

Are there any changes you would like to make on how to celebrate the holidays this year?

How can you still pursue connection? 

Some things we do around the holidays are meaningful while others are obligatory. Use 2020 to determine what those are for you and do more of what means most.